Emotional intelligence: “The capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.”
It is no secret that emotional intelligence is important for personal and professional relationships. We have listed a few tips on how to become more aware of your actions and how they can affect your emotional intelligence:
- They don’t ascribe intent:
We ascribe intent when we assume something is about us when it isn’t. This is like ‘the Spotlight Effect’, which refers to overestimating how much people are thinking about you – we’re all guilty of it! You know when someone is just having a bad day, and you start thinking about all the ways you might have annoyed them? That’s ascribing intent; I told you we’re all guilty of it.
The key to avoid ascribing intent not only at work, but in life in general is to recognise that no one is as focused on you as they are themselves.
- They don’t try to prove their importance:
People who are constantly talking about how busy they are at work, are not actually talking about how busy they are. They are trying to send you a message about how important they are; they may also be acting overly critical of everyone else’s work –
“the man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it”
One should show their important by knowing their own importance. It is much less powerful to talk about the result; the power lies in showing the end result.
- They don’t conflate their whole identity with their job:
Having hobbies have been proven to build character, and employers often ask about hobbies in interviews. Well-rounded employees have hobbies and are not solely focused on their jobs.
You existed before this job, and you will exist after it.
- They give respect to get respect:
If you want your ideas to be respected, you need to recognise and respect those of others – even if you do not agree with them.
- They understand where their money is coming from:
You need to be aware of your company’s financial structure and understand that you aren’t going to be given what you aren’t giving.
You have a salary because you earn it, not because you are invaluable.
- They treat losses as opportunities:
Most people are terrified of loss because they see it as a finality or judgment of their character.
“You were not born a winner, and you were not born a loser. You are what you make yourself be.”
- They maintain humility:
The most striking and powerful trait you can harness in your career is humility. If you don’t maintain humility you will be immune to the critiques and ideas of others. This will stunt your ability and willingness to learn, and thus your career growth.
Would you rather be right, or would you rather be good?
Emotional Intelligence is commonly defied by four attributes: social awareness, self-awareness, self-management and relationship management. Our 7 points on ‘what not to do’ fit into each of these attributes, to help you become more emotionally intelligent at work.